You Know He/She is Being Abused, Now What?

A long time ago, I relied on a girlfriend in high school to help me when I ran away from home. I was very fortunate that she helped me because a lot of people would have been too afraid of the consequences. In today's day and age, there are so many resources for abused children and it is up to each and every one of us to make sure that those children know where to go in the event they need to save themselves. 

While each case of child abuse is different, it is important to understand that child abuse victims are very hesitant to tell ANYONE about what is going on at home for fear of more abuse. There were many well-meaning people who encouraged me to stay with my adoptive parents and insisted that homelessness would be WAY WORSE than anything I was experiencing at home. THEY WERE WRONG. Hopefully some of the information below will help dispel some of our collective fears about getting involved. Had my girlfriend in high school NOT become involved, I wouldn't be here to tell my story today.

MYTHS

I don’t want to interfere in someone else’s family. The effects of child abuse are lifelong, affecting future relationships, self-esteem, and sadly putting even more children at risk of abuse as the cycle continues. Help break the cycle of child abuse.

What if I break up someone’s home? The priority in child protective services is keeping children in the home. A child abuse report does not mean a child is automatically removed from the home - unless the child is clearly in danger. Support such as parenting classes, anger management or other resources may be offered first to parents if safe for the child. 

They will know it was me who called. Reporting is anonymous. In most places, you do not have to give your name when you report child abuse. The child abuser cannot find out who made the report of child abuse.

It won’t make a difference what I have to say. If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, it is better to be safe than sorry. Even if you don’t see the whole picture, others may have noticed as well, and a pattern can help identify child abuse that might have otherwise slipped through the cracks.

Reporting Child Abuse

Reporting child abuse can bring up a lot of difficult emotions and uncertainty. You may ask yourself if you're doing the right thing, or question if your voice will even be heard. Here are some tips for communicating effectively in difficult situations:

Try to be as SPECIFIC as you can. For example, instead of saying, "The parents are not dressing their children right," say something like, "I saw the child running outside three times last week in subzero weather without a jacket or hat. I saw him shivering and uncomfortable. He seemed to want to come inside." However, remember that it is not your job to "prove" abuse or neglect. If suspicions are all you have, you should report those as well. 

Understand that you may not learn of the outcome. Due to confidentiality laws in the U.S., unless you are a mandated reporter in an official capacity, you probably won't be updated by Child Protective Services (CPS) about the results of their investigation. The family may not broadcast that they have been mandated services, either—but that doesn't mean they are not receiving them.

If you see future incidences, continue to call and report them. Each child abuse report is a snapshot of what is going on in the family. The more information that you can provide, the better the chance of getting the best care for the child.

If you suspect that a child is being abused, do not hesitate to report it.

YOU could save a life. For more information on

how to make a report, click HERE.

(Source: HelpGuide.org)